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I'm timeless, like a broken watch.
And violets are blue, roses are red, daisies are yellow,
the flowers are dead. Wish I can give you this feeling,
I feel like buying and if my dealer don't have no more,
then I feel like dying.
We're all lonely and scared. We all have problems.
Big ones. We all love someone way too fucking much.
Everyone warned me. I just wanted to prove them wrong. They were right.
Pass me a beer or pass me a bong cause I've been
sober for way too long. Give me a line or give me a hit.
I gotta get it or I'll rage into a fit.
I find the map and draw a straight line over rivers,
farms, and state lines. The distance from A to where
you'd 'B' It's only finger-lengths that I see.
When we were young the future was so bright, the old
neighborhood was so alive and every kid on the whole
damn street was gonna make it big and not be beat.
Now the neighborhood's cracked and torn, the kids are
grown up but their lives are worn.
I never asked for it to be over. Then again, I never asked
for it to begin. That's the way it is with life, some of the most
beautiful days come completely by chance. But even the most
beautiful days have their sunsets.
You don't recover from a night like this. A victim,
still lying in bed, completely motionless. A hand
moves in the dark to a zipper, hear a boy bracing
tight against sheets barely whispers, "this is so
messed up."
Lose everything and find yourself.
Pain beats regret every day of the week and twice on Sunday.
I like songs about drifters, books about the
same. They've always seemed to make me
feel a little less insane.
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| Noone gets me like you do. We talk and we talk and we understand eachother. We think the same about this world, this unprofessional, greedy, stupid, foolish, atrocious, cheap, disgusting world at that. Fuck this, fuck everyone and their foolish actions. Fuck it, man, lets go smash some fuckin' lines.
-Loveme__honestly
I have pretended to go mad in order to tell you the things I need to. I call it art. Because art is the word we give to our feelings made public. And art doesn't worry anyone.
And he told me, all romantics meet the same fate someday, cynical and drunk and boring someone in some dark cafe. "You laugh," he said, "You think you're immune, go look at your eyes, they're full of moon, you like roses and kisses and pretty men to tell you all those pretty, pretty lies."
"I bought a gun and chose drugs instead."
- Kurt Cobain
They call me a nutcase, you should be careful with me. You should be careful with me before I come home smelling of gin and bleech. Yeah, they call me a nutcase.
-Loveme__honestly
People have a habit of looking at me as if I were some kind of mirror instead of a person. They didn't see me, they saw their own lewd thoughts, then they white-masked themselves by calling me the lewd one.
I welcomed him into my closet to meet the skeletons that live there.
I was supposed to be different, not like everyone else.
I used to be a superhero, no one could touch me, not even myself. You are like a phone booth, that I stumbled into, and now look at me. I am just like everybody else.
I'm imagining the way you say my name, I don't know when I'm going to hear it again. My friends can't tell my laughter from my cries. Someone tell this photograph of you to let go of my eyes.
I'm frightened at night and the wind has a roar. It seeps through the hall and from under the door. Like the shit that was said, I can't take it that well.
We made love on the living room floor with the noise in the background of a televised war. And in the deafening pleasure I thought I heard someone say, "If we walk away, they'll walk away." | | |
| First of all, thanks to everyone who commented on the weblog below.
I thought that I would follow what a lot of you said; I did, for a long time. Then it was long enough. I did take into consideration not going over because, really, what's the point? But I've decided that I have nothing to loose and nothing to gain. So I went for it, I went over to his house today after work.
It was everything I expected it to be, awkward, surprising, quiet and weird. But I had to do it.
He was shocked to see me and at the same time understood why I had come. None of us said anything when he first stepped out of the door. Then finally I said "So.....what's up?" Then he started his explanation. He said that since he's got back from his trip that he's been dealing with all sorts of issues, issues and issues. I let him know that boy, do I have issues too and he'd just added on to them. He apologized about a million times and told me that it wasn't, in fact, me but him. He said that, lately, he hasn't been wanting to speak to anyone; not even his closest friends. He was begging me to accept the fact that he's a foolish idiot.
We talked about work (his ex-work) and his current work. I told him that I'm planning on moving away at the end of summer. But other than anything interestingly new that happened, that was all for our conversation.
He mentioned that he would give me a call this week.
I'll ignore his call.
I kind of wish that I would have said more. But I'm glad I did what I did. | | |
| Another little rant. I really need help. I just need the "Okay, go!"
So I started working with this guy at work just at the beginning of summer lets say. After a party which we both attended, we got to talking. It wasn't long before he had to take off for a 3 week vacation halfway across the world with his family. In that short time, it was two weeks, of talking and hanging out and getting to know eachother, lets say, he leaves for his vacation. He kept in touch with me too, all the way from the other side of the world, we talked and talked some more over email.
The day he left he hugged me and said "Please don't forget me." Then he comes back, and BOOM! Has no idea who I am anymore. He's the one who has forgotten me. Its been ALMOST a whole month since he came home. And ALMOST one month that I haven't talked to him. I've tried, believe me, I've tried. He's been ignoring my calls, my texts, my emails and he no longer works with me anymore.
We were never official but I think I have a right to know why the fuck he's completely cut me off, right? So I ask, what should I do? I've tried talking to him, that obviously didn't work. So I'm thinking, I'm going to turn phsyco on him and show up at his house.
Don't get me wrong, I AM NOT some phsyco girlfriend type or anything like that. I've said it a million times on this damn site that I'm quiet, shy and VERY reserved. I just don't think I deserve to be treated like this, that's all. I know for a fact that I couldn't have possibly done anything wrong to him so why does he not want anything to do with me anymore? Should I go to his house? I need help; at first I was just pissed off and angry but now I think it's just rude and inconsiderate of him and he has some explaining to do.
Yes?
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